On what should have been the happiest day of her life, Terry Apudo never made it to the altar.Family members, friends, church leaders, and hundreds of invited guests gathered at All Saints Cathedral in Nairobi, Kenya, waiting for the bride to arrive. Instead, confusion turned to panic as hours passed with no sign of her. No one imagined that the bride-to-be had been abducted, brutally gang-raped, stabbed, and abandoned by the roadside, miles from home.
Terry Gobanga is a pastor, a wife, and a mother of two. She was born in Nairobi, Kenya, although she currently lives in Texas, United States.
At the time, she was known as Terry Apudo.
On what was supposed to be her wedding day, relatives and friends gathered, eagerly waiting for the bride. However, Terry never arrived, and no one knew where she was.What no one realized was that she had been abducted, gang-raped, and left for dead by the roadside several kilometers from her home.
The horrifying ordeal completely changed Terry’s life. Today, although she still bears emotional scars from that experience, she considers herself a survivor.
Recalling the plans for her wedding, Terry says it was meant to be a grand celebration.”As a pastor, I had many members from my church, friends, people from my community, and my fiancé’s family.
“We were to be married at All Saints Cathedral in Nairobi. I had rented a beautiful wedding gown.” She recalls.
Unfortunately, on the night before the wedding, Terry realized she still had some of her fiancé’s clothing accessories, including his tie. Since everything needed to match for the ceremony, a friend who was staying with her volunteered to deliver the items early the next morning.
The two women woke up early, and Terry accompanied her friend to the bus stop. As she was walking back home, she passed a man sitting in the front seat of a parked car.
Suddenly, another man grabbed her from behind, forced her into the back seat of the vehicle, and the car sped away within seconds.
Inside the car were two other men.
“They stuffed a piece of cloth into my mouth while I screamed, kicked, and begged them to let me go because it was my wedding day. That’s when I received the first punch. One of the men ordered me to cooperate or die.” She says.
Terry says the men raped her one after another.
She believed she was going to die but continued fighting for her life. At one point, the driver stopped the car so he could also assault her. When he removed the cloth from her mouth, Terry made a desperate decision.
“I knew my life was over, so I decided to leave him with a permanent mark. I bit his penis as hard as I could, and he screamed in agony.” She narrates
In retaliation, one of the attackers stabbed her in the abdomen before pushing her out of the speeding vehicle.
She immediately lost consciousness.Later, she learned that she had been left lying by the roadside, bleeding heavily and partially unclothed.
How She SurvivedAbout six hours after her abduction, a young child witnessed her being thrown from the vehicle and raised the alarm. Local residents rushed to help.
By the time police officers arrived, they believed Terry was already dead. They covered her with a blanket and began transporting her to the morgue.
“I couldn’t breathe properly because I had been covered with the blanket. I was barely alive. Then one of the police officers noticed I was still breathing, and they immediately turned the vehicle around and rushed me to the hospital,” she says.
When Terry regained consciousness, she repeatedly cried out about her wedding and marriage. Her entire body was swollen, and she had suffered a severe abdominal wound from the knife attack.
Meanwhile, panic had spread at the church because the bride had disappeared. Eventually, her fiancé and family were informed about what had happened.
“When my fiancé saw me, he was willing to care for me until I recovered so we could still get married. He was holding my wedding dress and told me he still wanted to marry me despite everything that had happened.” She says.
Doctors later informed Terry that the stab wound had severely damaged her uterus and that she might never be able to have children.
She also received emergency treatment to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of HIV infection.
Overcoming TraumaWhile recovering in the hospital, Terry blamed herself and repeatedly apologized to her fiancé. However, he, together with her family and community, continued encouraging and supporting her.
In July 2005, seven months after the attack, Terry and her fiancé were finally married. After the wedding, they went on their honeymoon.
Another Tragedy
Only 29 days after their wedding, another devastating tragedy struck.
Because the weather was cold, Terry’s husband lit a charcoal stove to warm their home. After dinner, he moved the stove outside, believing it was safe.
Later that night, both Terry and her husband began struggling to breathe.Terry managed to call for help, and neighbors rushed them to the hospital in critical condition.
Sadly, her husband died that night from carbon monoxide poisoning, caused by fumes from the charcoal stove.
“The doctor told me I was extremely fortunate to survive because I had also inhaled the poisonous gas.” She recalls.
When she returned to church for her husband’s funeral, many people spoke negatively about her. Some claimed she was cursed or bewitched, while others suggested that the rape had brought misfortune into her life.
Even Terry began questioning why God had allowed her to endure so much suffering.
A Second Chance at Love
After everything she had experienced, Terry vowed never to marry again.
However, a man named Tony Gobanga remained by her side, encouraging and supporting her throughout her healing journey.
Eventually, Tony asked her to marry him.
Before giving him an answer, Terry asked him to first read a magazine article that told the story of her rape and everything she had endured.After reading it, Tony still wanted to marry her.
When Terry explained that doctors believed she could never have children, Tony replied that children are gifts from God and that whether they had children or not, he simply wanted her to be his wife.
Terry accepted his proposal. Although Tony’s parents initially opposed the marriage because they knew about Terry’s past, the wedding went ahead. About 800 guests attended, although Terry believes many came because they were curious about her story.
An Unexpected Miracle
One year into their marriage, Terry began feeling unwell.
When she visited the hospital, the doctor informed her that she was pregnant.She was shocked because she had been told she would never conceive.
She later gave birth to a healthy baby girl and, four years later, welcomed a second child.
Life Today
Terry authored a book titled Crawling Out of the Dark, in which she tells the story of her journey from trauma to healing.
She says she now enjoys an excellent relationship with her in-laws, including the father-in-law who had initially opposed her marriage.
More than a decade into her second marriage, Terry says she has every reason to smile and thank God for how far He has brought her.
She also says she forgave the men who raped her, even though they were never arrested.Having found healing, Terry founded a non-governmental organization called Kara Olmurani, which supports survivors of sexual violence and helps them rebuild their lives.
